It was 12 am and i was on my laptop without anything to do...
So, i opened my videos folder and saw my silat fights from 4th Inter Grasio...
I watched them...
And shit man... After watching them, i reli feel like i need to get these off my chest...
I remembered joining silat in sec 1...
Abang Asad saw something in me... I just didnt know wad...
He focused on me alot more during training...
In Sec 2, he stayed back reli late and devoted alot of his time to teaching me tunggal...
He gave me the equipment for free...
He made several payments for me...
Then he motivated me into joining the Nationals...
He was even going to pay for it...
I didnt last long in the nationals... (I had my reasons... Though they were kinda stupid...)
And i left after a short while...
Abang Asad told me to continue on, ignoring wadeva reasons i had...
But i didnt... And i let him down...
I sucked badly at the 3rd Inter Grasio...
Letting him down again...
In Sec 3, he wanted me to be an assistant instructor...
He even wanted to pay for me to attend the instructor course...
I took the role for a short while before letting him down again...
In Sec 4, shit started happening in Marine Parade Cc...
Certain people where training there...
And i joined in the fun...
Abang Asad ignored these incidences...
After Ndp, the biggest shit happened...
The 3 strikes in a row police case thing...
He found out i was smoking and the other shit i did...
It was the last straw for him and i got kicked out...
Again, letting him down big time...
I had no other centre to train at...
So, i was kinda merempat...
Then Abang Ayul got me back into Marine Parade...
Abang Asad still saw something in me...
He talked to me once in a while about joining the nationals again...
That if i went the correct way, i might go far...
I said i'd consider...
I didnt suck that badly during the 4th Inter Grasio...
But i was kinda distracted by other stuffs during my semis fight...
Letting him down again...
Since then, i havent been attending classes at Marine Parade...
I just cant see myself training silat anymore...
Oh damn... I feel like a huge asshole...
How could i ever let someone down so repeatedly...
But he still was so persistant...
I deserved to be humiliated by him for the shit i have done...
I never really thought of it till now...
I wouldnt know how different my life would be if i had stayed on nationals or be an instructor or didnt start doing shit...
But i definately know that my silat instructor has made an impact on my life...
Sorry and thank you...
I am guessing Abang Asad wont be reading this...
But i hope somehow he gets that i am an sorry and remorseful...
Hopefully, i will be able to make it up to him and not let him down...
Oh shit... I feel so emo now...